Sometimes it feels like I’m not the person that i was. Before, I take risks, I love challenges, I stand up and fight for what I feel is right. And I thought I’ll get better when i get older. But that is not the case. Now I always play safe. I am afraid. Afraid to loose, afraid to take the risk, afraid of feeling pain, of separation, of loosing. Afraid of letting go of this comfort.
Like waking up from a long dream of the darkest nights, now I’m letting go. It hurts so much and it will feel worst. But i dont care anymore. I’ve been hurt before and i survived. I know now what to do. I will loose. But i dot care anymore. I’ve lost before, and at this point of my life I just have nothing to loose anymore. It will be very uncomfortable at first. But I’ve been there. I might sink deeper. But, been there, done that. i will survive.
The old me is back. The hard-headed, unwise yet smart enough to get out of trouble me is back.
I was afraid. But not anymore. I’m leaving. This time, for good.
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